Why can't I be a King?

I'm headed to London in a couple of in a couple of weeks for International Mobile Summit. I just found out my friend Steve, who's also attending, got a Super King Executive Suite at the same hotel I'm staying at. Now he's gloating about it.

Why can't I be a King? No reason why not. I am already dashing, physically intimidating yet sensitive as a teddy bear. I already command an army of minions in my imaginary world.

First thing tomorrow, I'm going to ask our EA to get me in the Super King Executive Suite. Maybe they have a Super Duper Emperor Suite. That'll show Steve. Not only am I getting a cape, I'm getting one of canes with a big ruby skull on top.

If she can't get me my Emperor Suite, I'll move in with Steve. He might need a body guard.

Update 07/03: Guess I wasn't meant to be King on this trip. Due to the travel restrictions, most hotels are booked so I couldn't get my hotel changed. Couldn't even be a Queen... Not even sure I should go with all the bombings there.